


Pyjama party, is it?

by Tommykaine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Comedy, Crack, Drink Spiking, Except for Snape attempting to sing twice, Gen, I put both Moody and Barty Jr as characters since at the time it was Barthy posing as Moody, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Muggle Technology, Nothing nefarious happens really, The raunchiest thing in this fic is a brief reference to David Bowie's crotch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 20:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14552886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tommykaine/pseuds/Tommykaine
Summary: “This is the worst pumpkin juice I've ever had”, Snape noted with a grimace once he had finished his glass, while the bottle flew over to refill it.Mad-eye scratched his chin and turned his magical eye on him.“That'd be cause I spiked it”Snape spluttered his juice all over.“You WHAT?!”--"Moody" organises a pyjama party and somehow convinces Snape, Filch and Harry to join in and watch Muggle movies of questionable quality on a magicked TV.Hilarity ensues.[Inspired by that scene in Chapter 25 of GoF where Harry gets stuck in the staircase while snooping around at night]





	Pyjama party, is it?

**Author's Note:**

> _“Filch, I don’t give a damn about that wretched poltergeist, it’s my office that’s –”_  
>  Clunk.  
> Clunk. Clunk.  
> Snape stopped talking very abruptly.  
> He and Filch both looked down at the foot of the stairs. Harry saw Mad-Eye Moody limp into sight through the narrow gap between their heads. Moody was wearing his old travelling cloak over his nightshirt, and leaning on his staff as usual.  
> “Pyjama party, is it?” he growled up the stairs. 
> 
>  
> 
> [from Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire, chapter 25]

  
  


“Nice gown, Filch”

Argus Filch smiled and stood a bit taller, pleased by the compliment. He was wearing the same flannel dressing gown he always wore at night, but it looked cleaner and tidier than usual.

“It's a family relic”.

He looked around, his pale beady eyes filled with curiosity. Moody's office was full of eccentric things but what immediately caught his attention was a large object in the centre of the room, covered by a white sheet.

“Why am I here again?” Severus Snape asked, raising an eyebrow. He was also in nightwear, his thin figure clad in a long grey nightgown. His black eyes narrowed as he looked at the shorter figure standing inbetween Moody and Filch. “But more importantly, why is _he_ here too?”.

He pointed at Harry, who smiled awkwardly and looked as if he wasn't entirely sure of what he was doing there either. He was the only one wearing a two-piece pyjamas, which was red and gold.

“Come on Snape, live a little”, Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody commented as he handed him a glass and poured him some pumpkin juice from a bottle.

Snape rolled his eyes. He was still unsure of how he had even been roped into that situation in the first place. Maybe the man had placed a Confundus Charm on him.

Looking at Potter, it was clear that the student was not exactly happy to be in the same room as him either. Snape could tell he wasn't expecting him to be there. Well, at least he could have the consolation of knowing his presence was causing him as much misery as Potter's did to him.

“What's under there, professor?”, Harry asked, looking away from Snape and towards the mysterious covered item.

Moody's face lit up. “I'm glad you asked!”. He took out his wand and swished it in the air, making the sheet fly away like a ghost. In front of the others' stunned eyes was a fairly big TV inside a wooden stand, with a VHS player underneath.

“What's that?”, Filch asked, eyeing the strange contraption with suspicion.

“Isn't that Muggle technology?”, Snape inquired. “You know that's not going to work here, right?”

“Not quite. Not _entirely_ at least. See I know a wizard who has a knack for tinkering with Muggle items and tweaking them for magical use...”.

Immediately Harry thought of Mr Weasley, but he didn't dare to ask if his intuition was right. He was fairly sure that if it really was his work, it was-

“Surely that's illegal!”. Filch's eyes darted back and forth from the TV to Moody. “Why are you showing us this... thing?”

“It's called a television. Extremely popular amongst Muggles”, Moody explained. “They particularly enjoy using them during pyjama parties”.

“How do you know it will work and not, say, explode?”, Snape asked.

Harry frowned, remembering the flying Ford Anglia. That was a very legitimate worry.

“Only one way to find out”, Moody said, and with a flick of his wand a VHS flew out from the stand and into the reader. Another flick and the television made a worrying crackling noise for several seconds, emitting a few sparks.

Just when Harry was thinking it might be a good idea to get out of the way before it really exploded, the screen came to life showing a castle in the night and blaring ominous music.

“Ah!”

“Merlin!”

“Ops, too loud”. Moody waved his hand and the sound lowered to an acceptable level. “Much better”. He limped a bit closer to the TV, magically attracting four chairs and sitting on one of them, before waving for the others to join him.

Filch glanced at the surely-illegal device, then at Moody's face. Mrs Norris, who had been sitting by his feet all that time, went to sniff at the object with curiosity and pawed at the screen when a cat appeared on it. He knew he probably shouldn't but... well, it had been the first time he had been invited for anything in ages, since he didn't really have friends. And Mrs Norris seemed fascinated by that weird Muggle thing.

With a small sigh, he walked up to Moody and took place on the chair next to him.

“What are we even watching?”, he asked. “Why are there witches if this is a Muggle thing?”. He pointed at the woman dressed in black robes and making a broom fly behind her.

Snape and Harry looked at each other, then at the two remaining seats.Either way they were going to have to sit next to each other. Harry was the first to walk away and take the only remaining seat next to Moody.

Snape glanced at the door, strongly tempted to just leave. However, something told him that Moody would not let his plans be thwarted so easily.

He glanced at the only remaining seat. Oh well. At least he wouldn't have to sit next to both Potter _and_ Moody.

Finally, he gave up and joined the other three.

They sat in silence for a while as they watched the movie, if not for the occasional sipping sound.

“This is the worst pumpkin juice I've ever had”, Snape noted with a grimace once he had finished his glass, while the bottle flew over to refill it.

Mad-eye scratched his chin and turned his magical eye on him.

“That'd be cause I spiked it”

Snape spluttered his juice all over.

“You WHAT?!”

  
  


_~~some time later~~_

  
  


“Is this really what Muggles think we're like?”, Moody wondered, his magical eye darting towards Filch.

“Why are you looking at me for?”, the man asked, turning red.

“Oh... no reason...”.

“This is the worst film I've ever seen”, Harry noted, reaching out for the bowl of Wally's Wondrous Buttery Popcorn floating in front of them to shove a handful in his mouth.

“This song is going be stuck in my head forever now”, Snape complained in a slurred voice, then he started singing. “Everything can happen on Hallowee-”

“NO!”

“SILENCIO!”

Filch and Harry both let out a sigh of relief, and Mad-Eye put back his wand.

Snape glared at them and grabbed the flying bottle to pour himself yet another glass of juice. It really wasn't that bad after all...

  
  


_~~some more time later~~_

  
  


“CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!”

Harry, Filch and Mad-eye kept chanting and clapping their hands as Snape emptied the whole bottle without taking a breath, before slamming it down on the table and prompting them all to cheer and hoot in admiration.

“You shouldn't have challenged me, Mad-eye”, the man slurred, waving the now empty pumpkin juice bottle in his face and almost hitting him hard enough to break his nose. “Twenty points to Slytherin!”.

“You can't award points to yourself!” Harry immediately protested.

“ _'You can't award points to yourself'_ , ” Snape mimicked him in a mock-whiny voice. “You think I give a f-”

“PILLOW FIGHT!”, Moody roared, transfigurating a chair cushion into a fluffy pillow and slamming in his face before he could finish speaking. Harry quickly did the same, while Filch just grabbed a very alarmed Mrs Norris and threw her at the potion teacher.

“HEY! Why are you all ganging up on m-”

Snape's protests were immediately muffled by Harry's pillow, the force of the impact so strong that the man fell on his back.

“Nice hit, Potter!”, Moody noted. “Thirty point to Griffindor.”

“ _HEY!_ ”

  
  


_~~ one movie later~~_

  
  


“... _hic!_ It's just, I work so hard and...hic! no one even appreciates it... _hic!_ ”

Snape sniffled and took another sip straight out of the newly opened bottle as Harry awkwardly patted his shoulder.

“Professor, uhm, please, don't cry...”

“I'm not crying!”, Snape yelled, angrily wiping his face on his sleeve. “It's all... _hic!_ Your fault! Every year you... _hic!_ Go and put yourself into... _hic!_ Mortal danger! And who has... _hic!_ To try and save your arse?”

“Uhm, well, I for one would much rather not be at the top of Voldemort's most wanted people to kill list but-”

“ _Every year!_ ”, Snape repeated, a note of desperation in his voice. “And does anyone ever think of … _hic!_ Thanking me? Of course not! _”_

“Well, uhm, thank you?”, Harry offered, looking extremely uncomfortable. In the meanwhile, both Filch and Moody were improvising a very clumsy two-step dance to the tune of the musical number in the movie that was currently playing, while Mrs Norris was meowing loudly as if to sing along.

“Shut up, Potter”, Snape muttered grimly. “Twenty points from Griffindor”

Harry just sighed in defeat.

  
  


_~~midway through another film~~_

  
  


“Do all Muggles just... randomly start singing and dancing?”, Moody asked, pointing towards the screen, “This seems to be a pattern”.

He seemed a lot more sober than before. Filch, on the other hand, was soundly asleep on his chair with Mrs Norris on his lap.

“Uhm, not really?”, Harry replied.

“Slimes and snails I get, but I am not aware of any spell or potion needing puppy dog tails”, Moody commented, glancing towards Snape – who was embracing a half-filled bottle of juice and swaying his head at the rhythm of the song, prevented from singing along to it by another Silencing spell.

In the meanwhile, Harry was staring at the screen in a mixture of awe and horror, wondering if whatever thing Mad-eye had put in the juice was giving him hallucinations. He also couldn't help but think that the man dancing around on the screen looked a lot like Lucius Malfoy, except with a mullet and the most obscenely tight pants he had ever seen on a man. He grimaced at the mental image.

“80's fantasy movies were a mistake”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by some Harry Potter related shitposting that was going on in one of the Discords I'm in; at some point I posted that quote from book four and then this happened:
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> So of course I had to write it.
> 
> ~~If you are familiar with the movies they watched you can probably tell which they are by the references.~~


End file.
